> Does anybody know about when the official 9.1 will be released?
`cat "/usr/share/"$deity"/knowledge/software.db" | grep Mandrake 9.1` 
if [$? = 0]; then
     ...maybe God can tell.
else
     ...when it's ready.
fi
@cooker ML
%
> Same for what we call "english cream" in France: it's called
> "french cream" in England :).
as "capotes anglaises" and "french letters" for condoms ?
@cooker ML
%
<manchot> windows are quite expensive. 
<pterjan> yes that's why giving balls to children is dangerous
#mandrakefr
%
<n3oclust> slt Jimmmy
<Jimmmy> slt ?
<n3oclust> bas bjr jt'aV po encore vu  jsuis poli :D
<Nanar> Jimmmy: slt = salut, somethings like 'Hi' in french
<Jimmmy> i dont speak french :/
<n3oclust> Jimmmy, hi :)
<Jimmmy> i wish i did though, french women are cool
<Nanar> Jimmmy: I confirm
<Jimmmy> heh
<misc> Jimmmy: congrat, you just entered in the plf fortunes files
<Jimmmy> \o/
#plf
%
If you do not answer me, I will bring an action in the court against your
company an will require to reimburse the product cost and moral damage.

@cooker ML
%
> What is the official position?

Missionary. Boy on top.

@cooker ML
%
I don't see a controversy yet this morning.  I need a good Cooker controversy
to get my day started properly, although I do realize that many of you have
already had lunch.

How about "Let's bring back rpmdrake 1.4!"

@cooker ML
%
> Can you send me your GirlFriend ?

I could send my Girlfriend, but this version too needs the Beauty and
Money packages.

I suggest you start from scratch. Use the following commands:
cd /pub;more beer;find -type f|grep girl;date;date;date; \
cd /home;unzip;strip;touch;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;umount;sleep; \
echo "lynx http://www.cigar.com" >todo;at -f todo -v now + 9 months

@cooker ML
%
> Unfortunately, so many times people upload packages without bother to
> even test them.
Are you suggesting PLF peoples should actually test their package before 
uploading? You're crazy, they are far too many rootkits inside :-)

@cooker ML
%
> > > gvim doesn't start anymore. Here is strace output:
> >
> > already fixed in 29mdk ...
>
> Titi, i love you.

"ca va pas etre possible" :-)

@cooker ML
%
Is someone going to tell Laurent he's allowed to go home and go to bed
sometimes? =)

@cooker ML
%
i made a tool to encrypt files, split files, secure erase, and 
otherstuff get it at
systemoverflow.tripod.com/setup.zip

just use wine to run it.

@cooker ML
%
> Just to let you keep in touch, I've just released
> frozen-bubble-1.0.0; it's uploaded in cooker as well.. right in
> time before RC1-packages-updates-freeze, which should happen very
> quickly now..

ARGH! That's it... no more time to work, eat, sleep until I finish all
100 levels ;-)

@cooker ML
%
> > I'll buy the person who gives me my CD writing capabilities back a
> > beer...
>
> Anyone? Two beers..?
>
> BTW I forgot to mention that I use a sym53c8xx SCSI adapter, if that
> matters.

Hmm on 3 beers I might jump in ;) But I have no clue ... Have you tried 
another driver ? what says  cdrecord dev=0,4,0 -checkdrive ?

@cooker ML
%
Anyone with a kernel 2.6 can upload it.

Of course the Andrey supermount patch included would increase
significanly its sex appeal.
@cooker
%
This evening, when glancing through /dev, I noticed a /dev/core symlink to
/proc/kcore, which turns out to be a 1,016MB dump file (from what?)!!!

I can't delete it as root.

Any ideas what this might be?  Is there somewhere/someone to whom I should
be reporting/sending this?  Please advise!
@cooker bugzilla
%
>I was told root was God on its machine, but apparently it's not the case.
>
You're right.  The kernel is God.  Root is just St. Peter.  Root can 
tell the kernel to do anything that any user can tell the kernel to do.  
Whether the kernel decides to listen to your prayer is another matter.
@cooker ML
%
>I think this is a conspiracy of all zsh lover out there, with the help of the 
>alien and the gouvernement.
>
Ah yes... the "Zork" shell, I remember it well...

cd
You have entered a twisty maze with many packages:

There are many files here.

attack file with vi
...
attack file with rm -f
...
@cooker ML
%
> I just tried with a new profile (with -13mdk), and I get GNOME icons all
> over.
> 
> Is anyone else seeing this?

Don't tell anybody, but this is the Seekrit Epiphany World Domination
Extension I sneaked in that slowly morphs firefox into epiphany after
installation. But it wasn't destined to activate before 10.2 went
final, small bug I guess, will fix that.

*evil laughter*
@cooker ML
%
ORN: What tools does Mandrakelinux use for automated testing of graphical Perl applications?

Rafael: Er, interns ?
http://www.perl.com/pub/a/2005/02/24/mandrakelinux.html
%
( Sung to the tune of an particular old folk song.... )

What shall we do with the Drunken Penguin ?
What shall we do with the Drunken Penguin ?
What shall we do with the Drunken Penguin ?
Er-lie in the morning...

Use URPMI to load the new one !
Use URPMI to load the new one !
Use URPMI to load the new one !
Er-Lie in the morning....
@cooker ML
%
forget this, i've misread my own code. how could i think i could be wrong? ;)

@cooker ML from Pixel
%
I'm probably being so annoying that I would make fortune selling voodoo
dolls of myself...

@cooker ML from Claudio Matsuoka
%
<DarthPanda> i think warly won't be around for a couple of weeks yet, am I right?
<rgs> 2 weeks
<rgs> yes
<DarthPanda> warly should train a padawan just in case...
<rgs> nobody has enough midichlorians
<rgs> in the whole galaxy
<DarthPanda> umm. a problem, this is
#mandriva-cooker 
%
<niemeyer> rgs: Good question. The most important thing is getting it implemented, whoever does the job. :)
<rgs> niemeyer: somehow this will involve warly and fred
<niemeyer> rgs: Just a matter of "resource allocation", mostly. ;)
* niemeyer is a resource, for instance. :)
* rgs malloc(sizeof(niemeyer))
#mandriva-cooker
%
For those keeping track, I recompiled the 10mdk kernel disabling many
config options (but keeping smp and ht) and the problem hasn't showed
itself since. So it must be some kernel option which is breaking things
here. Which one will take some weeks of playing quake3 to figure out
(build, install, test q3, build with more options, install, test q3 
again some other day, etc).
@cooker ML
%
Assuming that urpmi (or rpmdrake) has no bugs related to installation or
dependency computation, this shouldn't matter.
@cooker ML from rgs
%
<Zero_Dogg> this discussion was brought to you by /dev/urandom (tm)
#mandriva-cooker
%
>> i would bet that when Windows "LH" SP2 comes out the packages will still
>> have the mdk marking
>
>  Hi
>  What is windows "LH" SP2 ?

And what is "windows"?  A part of KDE/Gnome/etc???
@cooker ML
%
> Why are packages still named "package-name-version.mdk.rpm"? souldn'it 
> be "mdv" now?

So that in 50 years there will be the one who know and the one who don't.

@cooker ML
%
* Guest (~Guest@san13-1-82-241-36-197.fbx.proxad.net) has joined #mandriva-cooker
Guest hello
Guest why my cooker is unstable?
#mandriva-cooker
%
> This is pure specutlation, but I'd be surprised if they were built for 
> 10.2. Mandriva's recent practice has been to reserve upgrades like that 
> for club members.

That's hardly relevant; these are provided by kde.org, and I don't see
how we'd stop them providing free RPMs built by themselves for Mandriva.
we had to let the assassination squad go last year to save cash...:)
@cooker ml
%
> Are we really supposed to confirm for the mail sent to cooker each time 
> we report a bug ?
> 
Yep !?

Mandriva is just beginning to start new features going towards drm 
management ;-)

The devel team has found a way to eradicate bug reports from Q&A :-)
@cooker ml
%
> Bugzilla bug strikes again and now this is a documentation bug.....

Bugzilla has its own life.
Warly
@cooker ml
%
> How stable is it?  is it likely to eat my hard disk?  A couple of years 
> ago I had a hard disk eaten by a dma kernel bug that kept turning on and 
> off  the dma without warning.  Actually, it only ate all the data on it, 
> not the drive itself...

yes it may. It will also blow up your monitor, kill your hamsters, and give 
your SO an incurable sexually transmitted infection. Luckily, you run cooker 
so you know what to expect.
@cooker ml
%
> One little thing that you could (and should) do is to refrain from using 
> dates that do not exist. The EOL for 10.1 Desktop Updates is shown as 
> "September 31, 2005" - according to my calendar, there are only *30* 
> days in September :-)

Well, you obviously haven't been issued with a revised Mandriva World
Government Calendar, then. Go to your local Peon Information Center
immediately. ;)
@cooker ml
%
> > I just tried to post a bug report in Mandriva's bugzilla and I get an
> > internal server error (500) after saying that I really want to post the
> > report.
>
> Confirmed, I get the same result as well.

Bugs are deprecated. From now on, report them in the release notes as
'bonus features'.
@cooker ml
%
>Well, no-one types urpmi.update, anyway. We just type urpmi.u and hit
>tab. Unless we write urpmi.updatecheesecakes, this isn't going to stop
>working.

urpmi.updatecheesecakes would be nice to have :-)

I'd suggest :

urpmi.updatechocolatecake
urpmi.updateapplecake
@cooker ml
%
<AdamW> Zombie: why, is there a problem?
<N9NU> yes
<N9NU> the world is coming to an end
<AdamW> ah, well, that's a bit outside my area of expertise. sorry. try harrison ford.
#mandriva-cooker
%
> There is to move also the deps before (which are not owned by me), e.g. mono,

I don't think we had the necessary flamewar about that yet, did we? :)
@cooker ml
%
[ 16128 ] Pornview : Is porn required for operation? Segfault!

Yes, porn is required for operation. Coming soon, DrakPorn, a new premium
Mandriva service designed to integrate smoothly with pornview, and featuring
24/7 hot penguin-on-penguin action!

@bugzilla
%
<_ranger_> :maint hobbit
<Sophie> I can't find the maintainer of hobbit
<cilkay> J.R. Tolkien :)
#mandriva-cooker
%
<Milka> Zero_Dogg: what do you do when the night comes ?
<Zero_Dogg> go outside and wrestle polar bears
#plf
%
> > > b/c we had an agreement with the patent owner?
> >
> > Ooh, we do? Shiny. Actually now you mention it, someone told me that
> > before, but I forgot. Shouldn't we advertise it somewhere in big neon
> > letters? For the reasons Colin Guthrie gave, it's a significant
> > competitive advantage that currently isn't publicised enough...
> 
> Maybe one part of this agreement is not to reveal it...

*waves MiB wand*
@cooker ml
%
<blino> joeghi: I don't know much about that, but it could be included if our manager agrees about the rescue CD idea
<Zero_Dogg> blino: who is that? :o
<blino> warly_ or David Barth
<misc> Zero_Dogg: our new overlord
<AdamW> Zero_Dogg: you may have seen him on TV - dark outfit, deep voice, has trouble breathing
#mandriva-cooker
%
On Jan 23, Olivier Blin <oblin <at> mandriva.com> wrote:

> Andrey is not clueless about that. We managed to handle the transition
> from hotplug to udev quite smoothly in Mandriva. Some monthes ago, we
Guess what? Mandriva is not Debian.
# Linux Hotplug development ML
%
I cannot see why this could happen. Should we file this under the X-files?

@bugzilla 20118
%
> > Internally kenobi is working correctly and accessible, the problem
> > must be related to the freebox and the conection to the internet
> 
> Right, it was related to the provider (free.fr), the whole
> neighbourhood must have experienced similar issues (my connection
> has also been unavailable for about an hour tonight).

well, now everybody knows you live in mandriva's basements :-)

@maintainers ml
%
> i don't know what could be done, esp. since the burden on isteam has
> raised (the previous unsubscribe-many-to-make-mls-go-faster admin is
> not there anymore...)

Hey, I like that way of thinking. Let's extend it to the distro: all
employees must go out and shoot 50 users each in order to reduce the
level of bug reports...

@cooker ml
%
> This bug is release critical, we should have updates working at the end of
> installation (and "cooker" is the correct distribution for this bug).

but it's been broken for so long, if we make it work people will feel like
they're in a strange and scary place. :D
@bugzilla 24041
%
<oden> any python expert here? what is the replacement function to "whrandom"? is it simply "random"?
<gw666> misc is a python guru
<oden> i figured it out. thanks.
<misc> wow, people solve problem only by mentioning my name !
<blino> that's called karma
<blino> I've experienced that as well in the QA lab, network problems disappears when I am less than one meter close to them
<blino> kinda useful to escape from bugfixing
#mandriva-cooker
%
<ahasenack> mkcd is more verbose than a cat having sex
#mandriva-cooker
%
> time to have 2 main mirrors with hardware hotplug RAID ( 1 or 5 ) with the 
> second one as a failover with drakinvictus ? :) Don't forget redudant power 
> and UPS

And don't forget to call in a priest to bless the ground where the
Mandriva building is. Too many hardware failures, the building is
probably on top of an indian hard disk cemetery.

@cooker ml
%
> +1

What's with all these '+1' messages, can't you write complete equations anymore?

@cooker ml
%
=======
> Summary     : Sniffing application for the KDE environment
> Description :
> This application is a sniffing application for KDE.

Does any know where I can get a USB Nose? I guess I could get a PCMCIA
Nose but they are more expensive, and my firewire adapter doesn't work
so an IEEE1394 Nose is out of the option :p
@cooker ml
%
> > - Final: March, 19th (GA early April)
>  
> > No doubt, this will be hard to achieve.
> 
> hmm, my daughter should born April, 25th let's see who comes first
> :p

Nice present for you :-)

But one year spend in trying making them walk & speak and then 20
years trying to make them sit down & shut up :-)

@cooker ml, titi
%
PS the obvious caveat is that if we changed the rules for *how* the
history is interpreted to generate the changelog then the old svn
history (now static) will clearly not be updated... In my next "lecture
of the obvious" I'll explain why nailing your hands to your desk can
reduce your typing productivity....

@maintainers ml
%
> It will be much more professional the next time this package is uploaded.

Meaning using cowsay instead ?

@cooker
%
<DavidW2> hi
<DavidW2> I just stuck my finger in my case exhaust fan. that really hurt
<DavidW2> on a positive note it sounds a bit better ;)
#mandriva-cooker
%
> to continue with our Friday tradition, and since there were not a lot of
> complains about the new menu (what ? you didn't test it already and now
> you want to complain? Too late then, complain office is now closed, see
> you next year .. :),

New HAL, new menu structure, new kernel...

Did you know that 24 August 1968 is the date France exploded its first
nuclear bomb ? Do you celebrate this event or what ?
@cooker
%
I've not fiddled with Windows or OSX to see what they do, but I would
have through that e.g. Spice Girls or similar coming on the music and
not being able to change it (e.g. user 2 cannot access user 1's session
to hit "stop") could result in multiple homicides.....
@cooker
%
>> flameduck13 [i=flameduc@XXX] has joined #mandriva-cooker
<flameduck13> I am making French fries (bought from store in a bag). Should I apply BBQ spice? If so, at what point?
#mandriva-cooker
%
<joeghi> I found a definition for our job: basically we are "package sitter"... :-)
#mandriva-cooker
%
> we are planning to kill acme package, which has been obsolete by
> gnome-settings-daemon for some years now and is unmaintained.
> 
> If there are people who still use it, raise your hand (and be prepare to
> maintain it) quickly :)

Acme can't die! Where will willey coyote get his gear to catch 
roadrunner????
@cooker
%
Subject: [Cooker] Re: [RPM] cooker contrib/release finit-0.6-2mdv2009.0

On Tue, 2008-09-30 at 00:30 +0200, Olivier Blin wrote:

> program based on its system calls with "gaps filled with frog DNA".

Naturally, it's artificial frog DNA. No frogs were harmed in the making
of this system. :)
@cooker
%
<heliocastro> coling: I think if you look carefully in some of the resident evil movies, you can see a wall with arts inscription on main buildings
#mandriva-cooker
%
> Thierry spoiled (a bit) the surprise :)

TV always spoils surprises... I quite often put little fun, ahem, easter 
eggs into my packages to let people have fun, erm discovering them, but 
he always manages to point out the, mistake, erm I mean surprise before 
anyone else :p

@cooker
%
